Let’s be honest. Parenting is already like trying to juggle flaming swords while riding a unicycle. Now throw in a child who isn’t thriving in the one size fits all school system and suddenly, you’re not just juggling. You’re doing it blindfolded, on a tightrope, over a pit of Lego.
That’s where SEN comes in.
So, What Is SEN?
SEN stands for Special Educational Needs. It’s a fancy way of saying that some kids need a bit more support than others to learn, communicate, or cope with the chaos of school life. Maybe they find it hard to concentrate. Maybe they struggle with social stuff. Maybe they just learn differently and get left behind because the system isn’t built for them.
As the old saying goes, you can’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. But the school system will have a good go anyway.
About one in five kids will have SEN at some point. For some, it’s a bump in the road. For others, it’s a long haul. Either way, it means they need a different approach. And usually, so do we as parents.
SEN or SEND?
You’ll hear both terms flying about. SEND adds Disabilities into the mix. So while SEN focuses on learning difficulties, SEND includes things like physical disabilities or medical conditions that affect how a child experiences education. If your child needs support that goes beyond just schoolwork, you’re probably dealing with SEND.
How the System Is Supposed to Work
In the UK, the big document guiding all this is the SEND Code of Practice. It’s meant to help schools, councils, and healthcare teams work together to support children with additional needs. Great in theory. In practice, it often depends on which postcode you’re in and how loudly you can shout in a meeting.
The code talks about things like early identification, person centred planning, and something called reasonable adjustments. Trouble is, what counts as reasonable seems to vary wildly. In one school, it might mean visual timetables, sensory toys, and a dedicated support plan. In another, it’s a teacher who says “Well I just treat all the kids the same” and carries on like nothing’s wrong.
EHCPs: The Holy Grail or Just More Paperwork?
If your child’s needs are more complex, you might find yourself heading down the rabbit hole of an Education Health and Care Plan. An EHCP is supposed to wrap everything together — education support, therapy needs, even health requirements if your child is tube fed or medically complex.
It sounds brilliant. And it can be. But getting one is not for the faint hearted. It usually involves months of assessments, more forms than a mortgage application, and a fair bit of emotional whiplash. But if you get there, it can be life changing.
The Role of SEN Teachers and SENCos
SEN teachers are the unsung heroes trying to make inclusive education more than just a buzzword. They adapt lessons, find creative ways to support learning, and often end up being your child’s biggest cheerleader.
Then there’s the SENCo — Special Educational Needs Coordinator — aka the person who holds it all together. They liaise between you, your child’s teachers, and outside professionals. A good SENCo can change everything. A bad one can make you feel like you’re banging your head against a wall made of bureaucracy.
Types of SEN You Might Come Across
SEN isn’t a one size fits all label. It covers a huge range of needs, including:
Communication and interaction
This includes things like speech and language difficulties, or challenges related to autism. Kids might find it hard to express themselves, understand others, or pick up on social cues.
Cognition and learning
Some kids take longer to pick things up or struggle with specific areas like reading, writing, or maths. Conditions like dyslexia, dyspraxia, and global developmental delay fall here.
Social, emotional, and mental health
This is a big one. Kids might show anxiety, low mood, or behavioural challenges. Often, it’s their way of telling us they’re struggling — even if they don’t have the words to say it.
Sensory and physical needs
Think hearing or vision impairments, mobility issues, or complex medical needs. These kids might need specialist equipment or environmental adaptations just to access learning.
Support Outside the School Gates
Some of the best support we’ve had as a family hasn’t come from the system. It’s come from other parents. Groups formed by parents for parents, offering advice, solidarity, and the occasional meme to remind you you’re not alone. Most don’t care if you have a formal diagnosis or not. If your child is struggling and you’re trying to get through the day without losing your mind, you’re in.
Why It All Matters
SEN doesn’t just affect a child’s grades. It impacts their confidence, their friendships, their mental health, and how they see themselves. With the right support, they can thrive. Without it, they can get lost in a system that wasn’t built for their needs.
As parents, we end up being the experts, the advocates, the email senders, the meeting attenders, and the ones who hold everything together. It’s hard. It’s relentless. But it matters.
And if you’re reading this thinking “Same mate, same” then welcome. You’re not alone here.